Hi!! I'm new here and well I need a little help with finding my aesthetic or even myself(?).. Lemme note down a few things about myself
-teenager
-likes wearing either formal clothes ( shirts, suspenders, blazers, pants) or casual clothes (sweatshirts, trousers, sneakers)
-likes earthy tones like green, brown, and their variants
-aces all subjects other than mathematics + in the student council
-studies in a private school considered "expensive" in my country
-no particular interests (I just kinda exist there, no dislikes or likes)
-plays football and basketball but does not have much knowledge about it
-can't stand watching long movies or videos
-reads web-novels, manhwa but prefers it if it is less than 200 chapters (no anime or drama because they are too long for me)
-researches about the most random things in a single sitting (current research: MBTI and stoicism)
-music taste is either the fast classical music (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2KtppwPOUl3ovvINGLHJJv?si=aee772fedd2944db) or soft pop (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6NpZ4OCABGMWCCJbYtvvGk?si=f6d4a14df03b40e8 )
-Favorite musical artist is Alec Benjamin and Anson Seabra
-random frog doodles (I find frogs cute and have learnt about their anatomy just in case I get to dissect one some day)
-admires the inner or aesthetic beauty in everything; no matter it is a piece of trash or a finely carved jade
-black hair, dark brown eyes, tan skin
-asexual, and might be gray romantic, aromantic or demiromantic
-carefree, does not know much about self
-observant, limited patience for people who I consider "dumb"
-responsible, can be childish or mature for my age depending on the situation
-confident in things or people I believe in
-does not show what I actually feel on my face (poker face but its always a smiley one)
-looks cheerful all the time but is actually unapproachable
-might be narcissistic at times but is actually a tiny bit insecure
-possessive and manipulative but not to the point it is toxic
-the rational friend in the group
-master procrastinator who should be studying for the exams
-does not like junk food, street food
-prefers cooking but hates eating
-does not like physical contact with anyone other than a selected few
-hands are always clean but study place is never organized
-some say i have serial killer vibes other say i am a ball of sunshine; i just think i have multiple faces that i show to different people like most people do
-does not like being the center of attention, but is one in most settings due to various reasons
-can face angry karens but not crying softies
-problematic parents and family background; stable financial status
-childhood was full of family drama of father and uncle regarding inheritances and money
-cried myself to sleep many times in the past but now finds most of the problems i face funny or like a drama
-looks at life from a third person pov
-wants to become an adult fast because it feels like i'm in the wring body as a child
-accepting of subjects regarding death
-does not fear anything in particular other than heights
-has an obsession (?) with any kinds of hand accessories like watches, bands, bracelets
-want to find more about self in order to feel stable
-beliefs that "to define is to limit", "life is short so we should enjoy it while we still can" and "going with the flow"
-had a hard time writing this post because I'm confused if I'm actually like this or its just the way I see myself as
-resonates with chaotic academia but not too much in terms of other factors
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So to sum it all up; im a teenager with above average academics (other than maths), contradicting music taste, personality and a tiny bit twisted aesthetics
