I love all aesthetics but i cant seem to find one that relates to me

It's too hard for me to find one. For example when i ask my friend(online female) they say im a tomboy because i hang out with boys. it's really hard tbh. I like indie, but I dont like too bright colours. Pastel is a yes-no situation for me. Dull colours?.... Yeahhhh i love it.Weirdcore is cute but I get scared off by some of the images. Traumacore? Im quite unsure. Can someone help me? I'll list what i like..

1. I enjoy goth, but def not my type. Kawaii is the same. But when mixed, I enjoy it, but when told to wear it, I avoid that.

2. Ppl say that i'm a tomboy because I can defend myself but I don't hurt people a lot because I feel bad when I do.

3. I like plants. period.

4. I have many phobias.

5. I MUST be perfect. If I dont, well, I can't say.

6. I'm an introvert.

7. I'm obsessed to this fandom

8. Even though I'm an introvert, I enjoy socializing with my friends/relatives.

9. My computer is my home

10. I l.o.v.e. drawing for no reason at all

11. Traumacore is easy to relate to, but har to adjust to

Andd thats all. Please help me to know what my aesthetic is ;-;